Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Gamer Dumps Diablo III after Discovering He Can't Have Sex With It

IRVINE, CALIFORNIA— It was a sad day for Jeremy Smith as he had to come to grips with the sad reality that he couldn’t have sex with his new video game, Diablo III, recently released by video gaming company Blizzard Entertainment. The shock came to Jeremy soon after returning home from his local GameStop (a ‘video game boutique’) with the gaming disk earlier this morning, having visited the store for their ‘midnight release party,’ a gathering of nerds after the sun has gone down and all the reasonable people of the area had gone to bed, waiting to buy the game later on in the day like any other sane person.
“I just didn’t know what to do. It can’t cook, clean, or even say how awesome I am. I think the worst part of everything was that I had already opened the packaging, so I couldn’t return it and get a refund so I could afford a hooker to at least act like she cared. The game is useless, but it makes a very good coaster for my Mountain Dew,” Jeremy was quoted as saying.
The Daily Towel visited the same GameStop that Jeremy had visited the night before, this time at a more reasonable hour, where we found that GameStop still had plenty of Diablo III products for sale to unsuspecting gamers and mothers who think Diablo III is about vanquishing the Devil to save the Bible from falling into the hands of the wrong people.
While interviewing store employee Todd Richardson, who says he doesn’t play video games, he just works there to pick up chicks, Todd was quoted as saying “Look, if people don’t want to do the research for this kind of stuff then it sucks for them. They can be like ‘normal’ people and get girlfriends to do s—t for them. If you’ll excuse me, I need to harass this chick. Maybe she came here to talk to me and not buy something.”
As a warning for our fellow readers, no, you cannot have sex with the disk. Our resident gamer warned that ‘sticking your d—k into the little hole of the disk is abad idea.”
Blizzard was unavailable for comment.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I do stand up

Sorry I've been gone for such a long time, I've had school and stuff keeping me busy (it also helps that I finally have wi-fi here).

Yeah dudes, I do Stand up!

You should watch, and like, enjoy it. There WILL be more!
(If you want, you could also share it with your friends, because the more that people enjoy and share, the more I feel the incentive to keep doing this ;P)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


      So I have that storyboard job, but instead of storyboarding, I'll be making a webcomic for some folks! Look for it soon! Just waiting for that internship, which I really. Really. want/need.
     I got the first few scripts for the comic, and I'm hopeful!
     I got the book 'The Internet is a Playground' and laughed my butt off. It's a really funny book, and you should check it out! The XBox was taken out of the room by the neighbor, so no GTA IV for a while, until I get my own, or one of the roommates turns out to have one whenever I find a house this weekend.
    Till then.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


     I saw THOR at midnight. I rather enjoyed it! The end felt a bit too rushed, and there were some plot holes, but hey, it's a super-hero (well... Norse God?) movie, so I'll forgive it.
     I got an email from those storyboarding guys today, they actually enjoyed my work! Which is weird. Because I don't really like my art all that much. Maybe 'I don't like it' is the wrong term. I don't thing it's up to par to work like Scott Kurts, or Kate Beaton, or the like. My 'style' ,if you will, is rather simple. Maybe that's a good thing? Do other artists like myself have these thoughts? Do professionals think their work is total crap? Do they reply with "Really?" when a fan tells them they love their work? Surely I'm not the only one.
     Either way, I'm now 95 per cent sure I have the job, which is wonderful! Next up I have to find a house. To live in. Can you say man-cave? I know I can.
     See you tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


So I'm sure you heard the news: gas is really really expensive. In other news. I'm looking for a job. I already applied to Target, and sent an e-mail to some guys about a storyboarding job, all I gotta do is send some of my work (gulp). And a job that MAY be a scam, but I'm not 100% sure. It IS craigslist, after all. But anyway. Hopefully I hear back from that third one. It pays very well... So yeah. Going house hunting tomorrow as well, and then THOR at midnight! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't know WHAT to send to those storyboarding guys...

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Greatest Gift Ever

So my girlfriends mom got me this, randomly. I LOVE it.
(Sorry about the terrible quality)

Friday, April 22, 2011

Swap Meet

Sold a lot of stuff at a swap meet today, lots of stuff I didn't think would actually sell!
I have to draw skulls right now, but people are in the way, so I'm just, you know... procrastinating. Woo.
I have that Shaggs record for sale on eBay, you should buy it, you'll LOVE it.
Heading to my grandparents tonight, oh, and PORTAL 2!!!